BELLOWS FALLS — I moved here almost three years ago. I am not originally from New England, but I lived in northern Vermont several years ago.
My family and I have never had any issues with residents of a particular area that we have chosen to move to. We have always gotten along with the residents, respected the community, and tried to fit in.
That is to say, until our decision to move to Bellows Falls.
We came to Bellows Falls for medical and employment reasons. We did not move here and expect to find instant friendship, but I never thought that I would have to fight for respect, especially from the children of this community.
I am not sure to whom I am supposed to direct my concern, but I do know that as a community, no one has made a successful attempt in fixing our problem.
This does seem to be a community-wide problem, because I am not the only “new” resident who have had problems, but ours does seem to be constant and severe. Our community needs to be aware that times are changing, and that people are moving in and out of their town.
* * *
Our problems began in our neighborhood when my children began meeting the neighborhood children. One child in particular was not happy that my daughter was becoming friends with another little girl she had grown up with.
I had to watch as my children were ignored, then bullied. I even tried to go to the parents of the children who were taking part in these activities, with no success. Instead of parents taking responsibility for their children's behaviors, I was told that my daughter was trying too hard to make friends.
Our problem then took root in the elementary school. Things escalated, and finally a teacher told me what was going on. My children had been filling me in but were leaving out many details for fear that they would get in trouble with me. My husband and I are strict parents, and we watch closely what our children do. I feel that we have taught our children well and we have spoken to them about bullying.
I finally spoke to the principal and was told that there would be a meeting with the children accused of the bullying and that my children could attend if they felt comfortable enough to do so. I was also reassured that the topic of being new in a community and acceptance would be delivered. I never found out if the parents of those children involved were contacted, and I needed to let go of the situation and move forward.
Last summer, we tried to get out and about to meet the residents of our community. However, we were never fully accepted and never approached to join in or become part of the neighborhood to which we now pay taxes.
It seemed the more we tried to be accepted, the more we were looked upon with contempt.
Last summer, neighborhood children - the very same children we had issues with at school - would stand at the foot of our driveway and laugh and point at us. We would be stared at in public, and all we could do was stand by and take it.
We kept our children home and away from any potential problems. I then contacted the middle school principal for a meeting before the start of the new school year.
I was not going to sit back and experience yet another year where my children are targets. I explained that there is a real fear behind my concerns, because my children and I suffer from two genetic bleeding disorders, and if we cut ourselves or bump or fall, we will bleed uncontrollably.
As parents, we have spoken to our children about ignoring these kids, but what happens if one of my kids are tripped and they hit their head - all out of ignorance?
So my husband and I had this meeting and spoke about our concerns, our experiences, and our ultimate fears. For the most part, the school year was uneventful because my children were busy working and getting straight As.
My son was even recognized as being head of the fifth grade last year, and my daughter was busy with her own academics and art projects. They do not walk the streets, nor do they cause problems. Everyone who meets my children have nothing but positive, wonderful things to say about them.
This is why I am so angry, upset, and beside myself.
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My husband and I purchased passes for each of our children to swim this summer. In addition, we enrolled them in another swimming lesson session.
It is very hard for us to simply pay for extra things outside of our budget because I am on disability, and treating my medical condition and my medications cost a small fortune. My weekly transfusions alone cost $10,000 and we are responsible for the co-pay, every week, every month, and every year. This also does not include my other monthly medications and preparations.
So, my children began using the pool and started their swimming lessons. They were due to finish their lessons on July 20. On July 19, while at their lessons, I was in the parking lot waiting for them to finish. We noticed the very girls they have always had problems with entering the rec center at the start of the swimming lessons.
This meant that my children had to walk past them to get to the pool. As they did so - and I was with them - the “trouble girls” began coughing loudly and laughing. This happened every time they saw us thereafter - every time.
After my kids were safely at the pool, I left them and went back to the parking lot to wait the 30 minutes for them to finish. As I walked through to the exit, I too was coughed at and laughed at.
When the lessons were over, I entered the rec center to get my children and again was coughed at and laughed at. Now, it was louder, and when I turned around to see these girls, they were pointing and laughing at me.
Now they are disrespecting an adult, and if this is what they do to an adult, what are they capable of doing to another child? I told the gentleman at the rec center, “I hate when kids do this.”
While saying this, I saw my daughter, stopped speaking to the attendant, and grabbed my child because I just wanted to get out of there. My son was still changing, but I needed to get out of there because I have had enough.
As I neared the exit, one of the girls who was sitting nearest the door stuck out her foot and moved closer to the door. I saw this and felt threatened because I could clearly see her trying to make it harder for us to leave. All the while, they were coughing and laughing - with us standing right there.
The girl who has caused us the most problems was trying to hide her head on the table, but it was too late. I saw her participating, and she knew I did so. I live around the corner from her and directly across the street from her grandmother.
This child did something to my kids the year before. I did try to tell her parents, but only managed to speak to an older daughter. I asked that the parents speak to me but nothing ever materialized.
As I now saw my exit with a leg in front of it - the leg of a child, mind you. If I had fallen and hit my head, I would have had a major bleed in my skull.
After having been ridiculed, taunted, and teased by these 11-to-12-year-old girls, I stopped at the table that they were sitting at and asked, “Why are you doing this? Why do you bother us when my child and I do not bother you?”
I just wanted to know why!
It is also funny that when these girls need help with school work, they will be nice to my kids because they know that my children will give them a direct and honest answer. But otherwise, they are made fun of and teased relentlessly.
* * *
I am writing this because we are now moving.
We have had it with this community and just as soon as the school year ends, we are out of here. This has been by far the worst experience of my life.
I have had so many internal bleeds due to stress from the antics that take place here in this small town. I have tried and tried to make friends, and I could go on about our many other bad experiences.
I am also writing because after I asked these girls why they were bothering us, the woman adult at the rec center looked directly at me and told me that they were doing nothing wrong. I was furious; I still am.
I will find out this town employee's name, and I want to file a complaint because those girls were clearly taunting us. I am sick and tired of no one doing anything about the constant bullying that takes place in this town.
Does someone have to get seriously hurt before we recognize that there is a real problem here?
I think this is real shame, because I liked Bellows Falls at first. My children love the school and have done exceptionally well. But the residents of this place need a serious wake-up call. Bellows Falls should have caution tape wrapped around it, preventing people from moving in and trying to set up house.
In all of the places where we have lived, we have never experienced the things that have happened to us here. I buy locally and respect the town. We are law-abiding citizens and are teaching our children the same values.
But I am hitting my head on a brick wall, because it is a very lonely existence when you try and try and try, and all you get is ridiculed and bullied.
These are now the memories my children will have of the time we spent in Bellows Falls, while their parents tried to set up a safe home for them.
* * *
I don't know what the answer is, but there is a problem.
Maybe a welcome committee could be established to help outsiders fit in. The community needs to be aware when people move in, set up house, and help the community to thrive.
It is such a shame because I know that many of these problems begin at home, behind closed doors, and with the parents of the children of this community.
I am concerned about safety issues, but all I can do from here is alert the middle school about what has taken place. I saw firsthand what these kids can do, and that action of sticking out of the foot told me to be concerned. Again, if this girl was willing to trip me, she will trip my kids.
It is unfair for an outsider to have to go through what we have gone through - all because we were not born and raised here. We have rights, too, and we have been violated too many times now to count.
But this has been hard because of children being involved and bullying. Things that have happened to us were always on the right side of the law, and we were forced to sit back, shut up, and take it.
No more.
We are just as important as residents of Bellows Falls as the next person, and we do not deserve to be treated the way we have been treated.