BRATTLEBORO — Lunchtime at school is not always the easiest place to be a kid.
For some kids, lunchtime is the least of their worries. Especially when they have a special meeting planned.
An example of such a pair is Betsy Gentile and Heidi Henry. This match, facilitated by Big Brothers Big Sisters of Windham County, has been meeting since Heidi was in elementary school. Gentile, Heidi's “big,” as they say, would come from work and share a table in the classroom with Heidi and the same group of girls every week.
Heidi and her friends loved the adult's company. Gentile would always bring dill pickles.
Matches like these take place across Windham County. Adults in the community decide to volunteer for the program and are matched with kids from difficult family backgrounds.
There are two branches to the program, explains Kimberly Diemond, the director of mentoring, community-based and school-based, at Youth Services in Brattleboro. Bigs and littles like Heidi and Betsy are school-based, typically meeting during lunchtime and part of recess.
“It's a good step into the mentoring process if you're not sure what to do with young people. You get your feet wet,” explains Diemond.
Matches meet once a week, and case managers from Youth Services regularly touch base with parents, mentors, and youth.
Mentors are also trained to deal with potential issues, including substance abuse, and they are offered a list of activity ideas.
When Heidi started attending Brattleboro Union High School, she and Gentile decided switch from lunch meetings inside the hectic cafeteria to the community-based program offered by Big Brothers Big Sisters.
Their activities haven't changed that much.
“Go shopping, have dinner,” said Gentile with a laugh. “That's about the extent of what we do.”
Gentile herself is the daughter of one of the people responsible for Big Brothers Big Sisters' existence. Her father helped found the organization, but died when she was 9 years old.
As an adult, she decided to see what the program was all about. “I wanted to be a Big in my community,” she said.
She looked for matches at the elementary school down the street from her house, and was matched with Heidi.
“I feel like her big sister,” Gentile says. She describes getting to know Heidi's family and the important role she feels she plays in her life.
On mentoring, she adds, “the most important thing is that you just show up, and you listen.”
Youth Services is struggling to find mentors to meet the high demand for Bigs.
“We could match the waiting list today and it would fill back up again,” says Nanci Leitch, director of Youth Services. “There is a particular need for male volunteers, as Bigs are matched with Littles of the same gender.”
“It's great for young people who do not have children, or retired people whose kids are in college,” explains Diemond. “It's not always doing what the Little wants to do, it's being able to share your knowledge and learning and experiences with someone else.”
She adds that mentoring is not just a two-person activity, but friends or partners that are both matched with Littles can combine forces.
Gentile's husband is also a Big. Sometimes they do activities with their Littles together.
The lunchtime program is spreading to new locations across the county.
A recently launched program is in Bellows Falls at Rockingham Elementary School. Bill Scarlett, the school's counselor, is thrilled that Big Brothers Big Sisters is being brought to his school.
“It does seem to really help when children have someone,” he says. “Someone who's kind and believes in them and builds them up.”