Many of us have now hit our limit on self-quarantining.
Whether sheltering in place on our own, or with family, children, loved ones, friends, partners, or roommates, we are all entering a new kind of being-aloneness that is both challenging and eye-opening.
This past month, we witnessed firsthand that the more we can manage to live in isolation, the greater our chances at beating COVID-19.
Already, we are seeing the positive results of our collective efforts: This week, we learned Vermont is doing better than expected, as case numbers continue to decline.
Gov. Phil Scott has begun lifting some restrictions on manufacturing, construction, and outdoor employers, while our hospitals in Windham County, much to our relief, have done a tremendous job of managing COVID-19 cases, without threat of being overwhelmed.
But as this quarantine stretches into yet another week, we are finding that precisely what is keeping us safe is getting increasingly harder to do.
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In April, alcohol consumption skyrocketed nationally, with weekly online sales up as much as 441 percent, according to Nielsen, which reported the spike about a month after stay-at-home orders went into effect.
In Windham County, 49 percent of the nearly 700 patients admitted to local hospitals and treatment centers diagnosed with substance-use disorders from September to March reported alcohol was their go-to substance, leading all others.
Doing what is hard, even when it comes to our health - and our lives - is something many of us have learned about in the field of prevention. Right now, one of our greatest challenges is dealing with the uncomfortable and, for some, completely overwhelming emotions we are feeling, which can trigger coping mechanisms that are unhealthy or potentially destructive.
These risks can extend to children and teens, who are witnessing how adults they look up to model behaviors while facing emotional distress, boredom, and isolation.
People in recovery can offer enormous insights into how we might get through these difficult times without turning to, or developing, behaviors, habits, or addictions that can harm us.
I hope that by sharing some reflections from people in recovery for alcohol-use disorders - who truly understand what we are all going through and how to weather a crisis - others might be helped, too.
Reggie Martell, Brattleboro
Communications and marketing consultant; in recovery five years
I actually worry more about people who have never struggled with substance abuse than those who are in recovery.
People in recovery know where the monsters live. They better understand the insidious nature of substances and are better prepared to identify a threat to sobriety, as well as to know where to seek help when stresses enter their lives.
Those who have never used substances, or maybe only use them recreationally or on occasion, might feel like they understand their relationship to the substance, and that's fair.
But there's no precedent for what they're experiencing now.
With no distractions, a person can catch a glimpse of the abyss. What is my life? Why am I here? What is my purpose? For most of us, the answer is found in the quotidian cycles of our life, in a job that serves us twofold in that capacity: We're doing something that needs doing - the job itself - and we're earning money for ourselves and our families.
In our COVID-19 bunkers, however, we're not really doing any of that.
After about a month or so, our psyches can wear down. We're bored. We don't know what to do. We're becoming exhausted with the strain of finding activities for ourselves. We're even becoming somewhat disheartened seeing the false projections on social media of how well everyone else is doing: how creative and talented all our friends are, and how they're just crushing it in quarantine.
And we're sitting around in our underwear.
What do we have in our lives? A lot of people are going to ask that question, and they might not like the answer. They might find themselves facing childhood issues or social anxieties, and, now, a global pandemic.
We can't hang out with other people. We're denied even the vicarious experience of watching concerts, sports, or other group events on TV.
In fact, the first thing I do not do is watch TV - especially coverage of the crisis. I'll watch briefings from Gov. Phil Scott and Dr. Anthony Fauci, but this issue is too serious - too “real” - to entrust to the reality-television sensibilities of cable and network news.
While I watch almost zero TV, I do keep live streams going in the background when I'm working in my office. The Monterey Bay Aquarium has a great stream that's just fish swimming around. It's very relaxing.
I also watch musical performers who livestream. Jon Cleary is one of my favorite R&B musicians, out of New Orleans, and he started offering piano lessons online because he and his band can't tour. Absolutely fantastic. It's inventive and remarkable to see someone of his skill break down the instrument like he does.
Finding things that you would never be able to find without the pandemic - that has been one of the great silver linings. I'm also a cyclist. I ride every day, usually for a few hours, and I love it.
Dr. Geoffrey Kane
Chief of addiction services at the Brattleboro Retreat; non-drinker since 1989
I was recently shopping at the supermarket when I overheard one man saying to another, “The reason I am shopping here is the liquor store isn't open yet.”
I often liken addiction to stepping on a nail - it's more likely to happen if there are a lot of nails around and you're not paying attention.
It's important to remember that some people are predisposed to alcoholism based on their genetics or adverse childhood experiences, which can include growing up in a chaotic family, witnessing violence, or being treated poorly. But even without those factors, anyone can become addicted to substances.
With the ongoing quarantine, many people are feeling the need to escape or seek relief from anxiety, boredom, frustration, or loneliness. This is when people may find themselves engaging in persistent use of dopamine-spiking substances, which can increase pleasure, but that pleasure tends to feed on itself. Our brains become programmed to use and obtain substances and, when that happens, the urge to use it can be overpowering.
Unlike illegal drugs, alcohol - more socialized, less stigmatized - poses a special threat in that it can slip through our defenses. I think of it more as an assassin in disguise than a clearly threatening substance. We have found that amid the opioid epidemic, even as overdose deaths rise, there are still more deaths attributable to alcohol.
Wherever there is availability, vulnerability, and permissive attitudes toward using substances, people can become addicted. Online gatherings or Zoom parties can promote togetherness, but they can also promote drinking. Humans are very Pavlovian: We can easily get into something if there's a feeling of positive reinforcement - anything associated with reward or relief - around it.
Alcohol use can be prompted by various other factors - not even the substance itself. It can be very hard to be at one of these gatherings and not use it.
Nobody signs up to become a compulsive drinker. People muddle their way into that role, often because they are not cautious enough. Now is a good time to be very cautious.
These days, I am doing more reading and meditating. I use the meditation app Calm, and I finally got around to reading Sharon Salzberg's book Real Happiness, which we recommend at the Retreat. It really helps to understand the science that supports the benefits of meditation. Once you do know it, you'll ask yourself, “How can I not be doing it?”
I have also done more cooking. I even started using the oven. I'm also going on bike rides and walking. I have a serious bike - and we're getting to know each other.
Brian Condon, Brattleboro
Addiction counselor at Brattleboro Habit OPCO Treatment Center (in recovery eight years)
I'm continuing my daily walk or hike. Instead of walking by myself every day, I'm meeting with friends a few days each week so we can talk while we walk and maintain a safe distance. I'm still getting together with my best friend every Saturday and staying busy with my usual hobbies and interests. Mainly, I just shop for groceries less often!
With so much more time on people's hands, drinking or using substances can happen earlier in the day, or a person may end up drinking much more than they'd realized. Moderate alcohol consumption is generally defined as up to one drink per day for women and up to two drinks per day for men. Just stocking up on alcohol should raise some concerns.
Substance misuse - especially if already under stressful or unusual conditions, such as a stay-at-home order - can lead to anger, violence, abuse, neglect, and poor parenting. When drinking, inhibitions and executive functioning are reduced, and a person can do careless or dangerous things.
When people are drinking or misusing substances to cope with stress, depression, or other uncomfortable emotions, they often struggle to learn to deal with them in healthy ways, such as meditation or mindfulness. Also, people who are drinking heavily, or using substances rarely eat healthy.
Ed Scipione, Brattleboro
Retired police officer (in recovery nearly nine years)
Some of the things that I am doing to stay healthy while in quarantine are probably very similar to what many other people are doing, including those who are not in recovery: I do a lot of reading, binge-watching television shows, watching movies, and catching up on projects that I had been procrastinating on.
I think the most difficult thing during this time of quarantine for a person in recovery is isolation - a very dangerous thing for someone who has a substance-use disorder. Isolation feels good, even though it is so harmful to us. In the age of COVID-19, we now have an excuse to isolate and are being encouraged to do so.
For anyone struggling right now, I have found it very important to stay connected and find a routine I can accomplish mostly from home.
I stay in touch with my family, friends, community, faith, and other supports by Zoom, telephone, text, and instant messaging. I have also been able to keep my exercise routine close to what it was prior to COVID-19, so instead of running on the treadmill or cardiovascular machines at Outer Limits, I go for jogs outside. I miss the gym, but I know that this, too, shall pass, and I will be able to return.
I think we will all need to be careful of what happens when we resume life after COVID-19, so we do not forget the things we were doing to stay healthy.
I also am on the list of contacts for the Alcoholics Anonymous hotline. I have had many calls referred from the hotline and have been able to connect with people who are feeling some of the same fears and concerns that I am having, and we are all having. Together, we share our experience, strength, and hope - and, more often than not, at the end of the conversation we both feel much better and stronger.
Suzie Walker, Brattleboro
Director of Turning Point of Windham County (in recovery 22 years)
I grew up in an alcoholic family and thought it was never going to happen to me. When I saw other people drinking in college, I thought I could, too. I thought, “Oh, not everyone has a problem.”
But I had risk factors those other people didn't have.
The first time I had a drink of alcohol, it was like I was exhaling for the first time in my entire life. At first, it was relieving my anxiety, but then it stopped working for me.
Because I was successful, few realized I had a problem. Alcohol issues can be very individualized. For me, there were no dramatic events; it was more like a slow implosion. I let go of a lot of things I cared about in my life, I became isolated, and I just realized all I had was work.
Over time, my binges got longer and closer together. At the end, I had lost any perceived control I had over alcohol; I just felt powerless, and I knew I needed help. I got treatment.
My story is not unique in that I would drink alone. For people who socially drink, they might not have had any obvious problems pre-quarantine. But the isolation we are all living with now can complicate that. It can be as simple as attending a Zoom happy hour and just continuing to drink afterward, alone.
Connection is so important right now. If you don't have a good foundation of social support, take this time to reach out and make sure you connect with others. Some people don't know how to entertain themselves alone. Some people don't know what their hobbies are anymore.
This time can be a journey of exploration. If you are in a place where you don't know where to start, consider what I have learned from people in recovery.
We all need community, but we also need purpose. Get out of yourself in some way and take up a new project, a new activity; get outside, volunteer, help a neighbor, deliver meals.
Remember that as much as we need others, others need us.