As Vermont celebrates the holidays in the shadow of the COVID-19 pandemic, people are learning to discuss ways to feel comfortable and stay safe before seeing friends and family.
The Vermont Department of Health offers four tips to help have the “COVID talk” - a conversation to negotiate boundaries and establish expectations ahead of time.
• Ask questions. Before you get together, start with an open and honest conversation about what everyone has been doing to stay healthy and how everyone has been socializing. Consider everyone's worries, boundaries, and possible coronavirus exposure risk so you can all get on the same page.
• Focus on what you need. Using “I” statements instead of “you” statements helps people avoid feeling defensive or judged. Blaming and shaming might actually increase pushback and the likelihood of risky behaviors. Professionals at the state DOH recommend sharing what you're comfortable with, based on your own perspective, instead of making demands of others.
• Share what level of risk works for you and why. It might be different for others. Some people feel comfortable taking on a moderate amount of risk in their lives. Others might not feel comfortable taking on any risk.
Focusing on your own reasons for staying safe can help people to better understand and get on board.
• Set boundaries and stick to them. It's well and good to keep a discussion friendly, open, and non-judgmental, but that doesn't mean you have to skimp on your safety.
It's OK to be clear and straightforward about what you need to feel safe and comfortable. It's also OK to decline invitations or leave situations that feel too risky.
You should never have to feel bad or apologize for prioritizing your safety. Lead by example by sticking to what works for you and avoiding judgment.
Visit the Vermont Department of Health's COVID-19 portal at healthvermont.gov/covid19 for more information.