Every so often, I say I'm going to quit.
Things aren't working out, it seems. Take the auditions and advance to the next round or don't, but that isn't even really the point.
The problem: The process, for me, has become entirely too negative, too self-deprecating. Music is a large part of my identity, and when that identity continually gets hit over the head with a hammer, well ... eventually you just want to move out of the way.
I should know by now, though, that I'm not going to move. Hammered or otherwise, I'm always going to be a musician.