BRATTLEBORO — The recent events at the Brattleboro Food Co-op have disturbed me greatly and saddened me in a way that is beyond my connection to the people involved.
I attended the vigil held on the Whetstone Path and must admit that I came away unsatisfied.
Why is it, in the face of the horror of these inexplicable events, that our first need is to assure ourselves that we are fine, that our community is still wonderful, that whatever has happened is not really a reflection on us?
Who are we kidding? What happened at the Brattleboro Co-op is a direct reflection on our community and on us as members of that community and of the Co-op.
Somehow we failed here, and I feel we failed Richard Gagnon most of all.
* * *
Here was a man who we all saw weekly at the very least. He was the first person we caught sight of when we entered the Co-op. We bought our wine from him. We asked him what went with grilled lamb or seafood stew. We read his suggestions on those little cards he made for wines that he particularly liked.
When I lived in Marlboro, there were a number of years when I was single and gave elaborate dinner parties for three or four couples who were friends. Richard and his wife Meg were among them.
Richard always brought wine and wine glasses, and loved to pontificate about vintages and grape varieties and tannin. We all had fun, and ate great food, and drank great wine.
When I moved from Marlboro to Brattleboro to live with a man I love, those dinner parties fizzled, and I saw Richard only at the Co-op. But I enjoyed talking with him and sharing news and gossip.
What happened to Richard that led him to allegedly do this terrible thing?
Did none of us ever see his pain, his unhappiness, his anger?
And if we had seen it, what would we have done?
Mocked it? Belittled it? Dismissed it? Pretended it didn't exist?
We humans love to believe that we are better than others, that we do not share in other people's flaws, that we are immune to dysfunction.
Richard allegedly shot the gun. That is the end of our thinking. We, either as individuals or as a community, do not want to believe that we have any responsibility for this terrible act.
* * *
I don't know whether this tragedy could have been prevented. But I do know that it has made me much more aware of the flaws of human nature, of the complication of social communication, and of the stark inability to truly know another human being.
Most of the time, we cannot change the events around us. We can only change ourselves and how we react to those events.
We are flawed and complicated people. The line between us and Richard Gagnon is very thin. We should have helped him more.
Only when we begin to believe this truth can we begin to build a true community.